1st, went to my gu jie's house yesterday. Played with my beloved cousins and ate delicious food!
Have you ever found it difficult to say words that we want others to say to us? ie. thank you, sorry etc. I feel that these kind of words are easier to come out of our mouth when we say it to a stranger than to our loved ones. I guess pride is a barrier to us from saying these words. Really, I can't seem to say these words to my family, especially to my dad. I feel that saying these words will reveal a soft sport in me which I don't want people to know. I want to be seen as a emotionally strong person, not a weak one. However, these words need to be said frequently to let people know that I love them and they are appreciated. Well, saying these words to my loved ones when needed shall be one of my new year resolution.
I am now hating someone which has done nothing wrong to be getting on my nerves. I don't know why but when I am in contact with her, I just feel damn irritated. I need to change this too.
Most importantly, my relationship with God seems to be getting worse. I don't feel like doing things that allow me to get close to Him. I don't want to play the erhu for Him, I don't want to go to church alone. I just don't feel like doing these things which are the keys to heaven. What am I doing? Another one of my new year resolution: Get serious with God, dead serious. I shall start with reading the bible at a time which I will not be distracted, and my prayer shall not be repetitive, but what I feel at that point of time and day.

God, I shall believe that my repetitive prayers have reached your ears and You will make them happen in your time Lord. Thank You. =)