I feel that there are 2 types of people you can be very nice to. One type is your close friends who know you inside out and like you the way you are. Another type is just someone you don't feel even a hint of closeness to. One position that you don't want people to be in is the type where you know each other to the point that you think you can show your true self but that person is not ready for it. However, all whom you want to be good friends with must pass through this process. You don't know if the person really treats you truly or if they don't like you in the first place. This world is really very fake. That's why everyone wears a mask to protect themselves. However, to really develop a relationship and discover true love, you must take down the mask even if your true self is only known to one person. I guess you just have to show your true self and make people accept you for who you are, or else you will never have true friends.

I feel really bad, again. I don't really like some people in my class and I kind of treat them as if they are non-existent. I know I am supposed to love everyone like myself, but I just couldn't do it. Nothing can help me feel better other than me changing this mindset. The computer also seems to protest against my behaviour by going berserk after being repaired a few months ago. I also have not really been praying to God recently. So many things just happened when school starts. I really don't know what to do.

God please help be overcome my weakness