Sometimes, I feel obligated to feel stressed and that I confess with my mouth that without God, I cannot survive. That is because I feel weird that I don't have any burdens. Not that I want to be in such a situation that I don't trust in God and keep on worrying, but I don't know if what I am feeling now is in the right will of God.
Nowadays, I keep on forgetting stuffs. These few weeks, I wanted to type something in here and I have already organised my thoughts. However somehow when I on the computer, I totally forgot everything that I wanted to type in my blog. Now, I am typing just what comes randomly into my mind.
I feel indebted to God. I did not spend enough time with Him, and yet I don't have enough time to slack for at least half a day at home watching the vcd yanning lent me. For example, I skipped church leaders meeting(when I was invited to go) to go to the gym with tracy. I didn't really feel much conviction, but I just think that I did the wrong thing. If I was given another chance to choose, I will still choose to skip the meeting. Did I do the right thing?
As I am looking at the ring on my finger that God gave me, I wonder why is this beautiful ring on my ugly finger with lots of hair? God is so perfect, yet He still loves us so much when we are so much less than perfect. God has worked so many miracles in my life especially this year, and yet I have not actually sat down once to listen to His voice(other than the praying for vision part which is only about a few minutes).

am i just using Him? i don't want to