Should I say that I am lost? Had my osip interview today. Maybe because of my braces I cannot go suzhou. Is that a lost or gain? I do not know. After I had that fateful rebuke this monday, I was not in the right condition. Or should I say I was not all along? The rebuke was that I was totally arrogant and anti-christ. I was not very prayerful sad to say, and more not prayerful now. I don't know what to do now. I know I need to seek Him, but yet I have no time to. What am I doing on earth?
What I know is God's unfailing love for me. He still does what I ask Him to. On the night of the rebuke, I was looking for newspaper articles to do my lodging project. After quite some time, I still could not find it. However, my father on earth found 2 for me almost immediately he asked what I was looking for. Furthermore, it was on the same newspaper! If my father on earth who have no power over these things can help me find more than I need, what about my Father in heaven who is Almighty? Can He not do more for me?
However, I am getting more and more short-tempered these few days and also easily emotional. This is a decision and action I have to make.
why do you call me Lord, Lord and do not do what I say? 
