Just as what Russel said, he didn't know that what he did was that good to be praised, I have felt that too - today. Cannot believe that I have grown that much in these 49 days, and it hasn't ended yet. Well, I would expect a leap growth in me as this Jesus Bride 4 draws to an end. I just gave some cheap food as presents which I know I would not have done when it was the old me. However, I did not see it as something to be praised for. Now, looking back, I just so many things to thank God for. Never ending to be specific. Even small sweet things like immediate buses, short distance tom pang are just so significant in my life at that point of time.

Well, it is seriously time to die to myself and reach out to love people and be ready to get hurt. I think that this feeling is just not as real when watching shows compared to the original experience. God's heartfelt feelings for us all the time. He wants to be our or rather, my husband. Am I ready? The ring on my hand just doesn't mean anything to me. It is not possible for me to get intimate without getting hurt huh. Maybe I should seriously ask for a boyfriend now so that I can bring imagination to a higher level. I just cannot imagine loving someone so much that I cannot let go. Doubt I ever felt that before. LOVE is a common yet distant word for me. Cannot be grasped. I should also ask for disciples now to experience it. Come forth disciples - from all over the world!!!

face it! don't run away!!!