I have 3 things to address.

1) Plumbline
Where is this boundary that we cannot cross? This plumbline I am talking about is God and world. How much time should we spend with God and how much time should we spend in the world? I am not talking about murdering and stealing, just doing your work such as project and homework. There are people who go more supernatural than others and receive things from people who are more of the world such as money because God told them to give. I believe that there should be a limit right? Money cannot just drop from the sky when everyone else are just going supernatural right? I know about the Israelites eating manna dropped from the sky. Since it happened before, I know it can happen again. But what will this world be like if the situation turns out to be like this? As I am thinking about what to type in here, God gave me a revelation. Those who go supernatural actually spend time with God and do His work, that is why they are reaping the benefits. It seems as though they are not doing anything but they are, and are suffering a lot i.e. ah ee. But other than that like for schooling people like us. I still strongly believe that there is a boundary that we cannot step over. We have responsibility of our schoolwork and also with God. None can be compromised isn't it? Until now I understand that we don't need to understand and set a limit for ourselves for these type of questions. The peace of God can just make me comfortable about that things I do. However, I can't stop feeling that I am not doing enough for Him. Don't know whether it is from the conviction of the Holy Spirit or the work of the devil though. I really don't know what is right, what I am supposed to do.

2) high expectations
This is about something that just happened haha. I received quality replies from people and also just average ones. I myself happen to be in the average group, who at least replied. In the past, I would have already pat myself on the back and say "well done" to myself. However, I am so disappointed with the replies I have received and also disappointed with myself for the "lack of loving reply". ""Just doing what I am supposed to do"" Crap shit. Well, it can be said that I am still learning to open up my heart. Believe it or not, I am still viciously trapped in the isolation circle that I drew for my hurt heart haha. Well, lack of trust ba...

3) care
Again, where is the boundary? Of course if you don't go somewhere you are supposed to go, you will like people calling you and asking you what happened to you. I want to confess that I am not that kind who cares for people that much to always ask about their whereabouts. I did, for some I acknowledge to be closer to me. Other than that, where you are is not my problem. I have no time to care about you. I have other better things to do. Ok back to the point. However, there are some cases where you are obviously avoiding that person because you had no valid reason to not go to that place. You pray and earnestly ask that they will not call you and ask for the reason. That comes back to the first question. Where is the boundary? No matter what, I know I have to make right with God and myself that I should at least take the initiative to ask about them if they don't go to lessons or something like that. This is the minimum thing that good leaders should do.

PS: Those who actually know about my blog and bother or have extra time to read this, please pray for me. I know since long long ago that one cannot be independent, just that I still cannot accept it. Truth hurts. It is alright if it comes out from my mouth, but it is not when it comes out from others' mouths. Yup 1st thing is about my pride and then about my rebellion. I think I can deal with jealously myself, but pride and rebellion are things that I cannot seem to overcome. Thanks.

Thank you God for helping me overcome those objective 'rebukes' and that I did not hold them in my heart and let my life just rot away.